I have a lot to say, first, I'm very sorry that I haven't been able to update in a few days. My computer is the biggest piece of shit in the world. Oh, and I've had some hard things to deal with lately. Let's talk about my last entry.

I was lied to by Jay's grandfather. I was told that when we got in our last scrap and he left (he was supposed to be going to his grandfathers house to get some sleep), that he wasn't actually where he told me he'd be. I don't know. I was all for writing about that issue today. But, no, now I have something more serious I want to talk about.

About 3 years ago, I moved to Kentucky with my Mother. We went down there and stayed with her sister, we'll just call her Roni. So, Roni has two daughters. Jessy (28) and Cassie (26). Jessy is currently in her 3rd marriage. Cassie in her first. Jessy has two kids, both with different fathers, and Cassie doesn't have any. Anyway- My story starts with Jessy's 2nd Husband. His name is Harold O'neil Bryant. They called him Neil for short. I now call him Koby. You'll get it in a minute.

It was the Summer of '02. I was only going down there to be with my Mother for the summer. I was living with my Father at the time. I was 13, and had no friends there. I was 500 miles away from everyone I loved, and everything I cared about. For the entire summer. I was so depressed.

The only friend I had there was my Mom. I hadn't seen these people since I was 5. I barely remembered them. Now I was practically living in their house. I felt so lonely.

A little time started passing. My cousin Jessy visited everyday after work. She and her husband worked together at a place called Sykes. It's a computer tech support place I think. She would get off of work everyday at 5 pm. He got off two hours later most of the time. So she would drive back at 7 pm to get him. Every now and then she'd leave her son with us, and then come back with Neil to visit more.

I forgot to tell you, Jessy was pregnant with Neil's baby. I think she was about 5 months gestation.

Anyway- The first time I met him was a week into my stay. My first impression of him was awkward. I was scared of him. He was around 6 feet 7 in. No lie. He weighed in around 270 or maybe more. I don't know. He was huge. Not fat just very tall. He had on glasses that day. There was something odd about him. Something I wanted no part of.

Jessy and I started getting closer. She would take me with her everday to go get Neil. Sometimes we'd leave earlier to go to Wal*Mart or to get something to eat. We'd be in Sykes' parking lot at 7:00 sharp. He'd usually get outside around 5 or 10 minutes after 7. Jessy wasn't interested in driving when she didn't need to. I can understand, she was pregnant. She'd also sit in the back on the way home. Instead of Jessy getting out, walking around the vehicle (which was a red oldsmobile btw), waiting for me to crawl into the back seat full of trash, and then get in front, she would just flip back the front seat and crawl in back herself. Leaving me to sit with Neil. Which I didn't like at all.

He would get in, and immediatly pop in an Eminem CD. The older ones. Which was okay with me, I was totally obsessed with Em at the time. So there was hardly ever talk on the way home.

Neil started getting closer to me. I was slowly starting to feel comfortable around him. He'd play video game with me. We'd watch movies together, listen to music, you know, normal teenaged things. But, he wasn't a teenager now was he? You have to admitt though, what 13 year old girl wouldn't take a liking to an adult who had similar interests?

The first time I ever got into the car alone with Neil, was on evening when Jessy was craving sme toast with grape jelly. We didn't have any at the house, so Neil offered to go to a gas station. I don't exactly remember what the reasons were that I went with him but I did. The first gast station that we went to didn't carry grape jelly. The next gas station was in Morganfield, so we had to drive a little bit. I had no objection, because I thought I was going to get to listen to eminem the whole way there and back. My mom didn't approve of his music, so I'd take whatever chance I got. But that's not what happened. He never put the CD in. We talked the whole way instead. Well, he talked. I only answered when needed. I was still some-what shy.

He told me that he'd show me how to get a man in KY. He said that being totally fine didn't just cut it. That I needed more than my beauty to get a man. To tell the truth, I had only kissed one guy at the time, and men weren't very appealing to me. I looked at the guys my age as immature, little boys. Certainly not sex objects.

I was a teeny but weirded out by the conversation. Afterall, this was the first time I'd ever discussed boys, and relationships with an adult. It was very surprizing at first.

Alright folks, you'll ahve to read tomorrow to hear the rest. It's a really long story.

To be continued......