Sorry I haven't wrote in a while. I guess I've been pre-occupied with other things lately. Well, on any note, let's talk about Christmas.

Christmas was fun. It was alot better than I had anticipated. The boys came. They weren't too loud or abnoctious. My Aunt kept them in line telling them every five minutes that if they didn't calm down their presents would be donated to all the poor and unfortunate children. My uncle did not come in this year. I was actually looking forward to seeing that family member. I don't know why he didn't come in. No one bothered to explain. I was going to give him a big blueberry candle and a couple pictures of little Jessica, but oh well. I guess Oma will be keeping those ones. I got clothes that didn't fit, a $50 gift card that I probably won't use, jewerley that I know I'll never wear, and make-up. I don't even bother with putting on make-up anymore. I'm always too busy with Jessica. I barely find time for anything. Anyway- the only useful thing I got this year was my cam corder. I wanted that thing so freaking bad. I'm so happy. I guess that makes up for all the other crap I got. Let's just end this paragraph saying that Christmas was "less involved than I hoped it would be."

The past few days have been cool. I went to Sebastians house. We watched Final Destination 2. I didn't realize that movie was so graphic. The ceator of that movie must have been on something, or just a sick little man to think up some of the ways those poor people died. I mean if escaping having your hand stuck in the sink while your apartment is on fire isn't enough. That poor guy got all the way down his fire escape, slips on some spaghetti he threw out aprox. 10 minutes before the fire even started (ironic huh?...), falls flat on his back and then the escape latter comes down and penitrates his head right through is eyeball. Pretty sad if you ask me. And if you've seen the movie you would know that this guy just won $250,000 in the lottery. That's what I call "Sweet-Irony".

Anyhoo- It was really uncomfortable watiching a movie with Sebastian and Jay at the same time. I had no clue what to say or even how to act. I later talked to Sebastian on the phone and he said the same thing. It was just weird. I don't know if I want to be in that situation again. I don't think I will.

**Just for rosa jane....
Girl, I know times are rough right now. And you're feeling alone and confused. But I promise you that things will get better. It just takes time. Lord knows I love you so much. Please don't do anything you'll regret, or make me regret. I need you too bad to lose you for good. Just think about it this way. Come next Christmas things will be looking up for you. I love you, and I know it's hard. Just hang in there. For me and for little Jessica.**

Anyway- I've got bottles that need washed, and laundry that needs done... love you rosa jane.