������ Well guys, I've been avoiding this today. I don't know why, but today, I don't want to write. I guess I feel like, for today, it's just an obligation. A lot of bullshit has happened today. First off, I decided yesterday that I was going to quit smoking mary jane. (I don't even think you knew I started smoking again. Oops..oh well..) Due to the fact that last night, it just plain out depressed me. Ans well frankly, I think it only adds to my list of problems rather than ease the pain. Well, sometimes. So, I decided to quit.

������Secondly, Me and Jay haven't eaxactly recovered from our last dispute. So, when he showed up over here looking all stoned out, I lost it. I bitched him the fuck out man. It was bad. The fact that I am now fiening for weed didn't help him out too much either. But that's life.

������Third on my list is Peanut. He stopped by here earlier to "check on me" pshh, more like "check me out". He's called me twice now. He wants to come visit me. I don't know, but I can't take a grown man hitting on me. Especially not that drunkened bastard. Fucker.

������Fourth. My mom is at some Union Meeting. Something about going on strike.

������Anyway- I fucking hate immunizations. Seems like everytime I take Renee to the doctor, it's to give her some more fucking shots in her leg to mkae her scream endlessly. And frankly, I can't take it. I end up walking out to the car leaving Jay in there with her. It just tugs at my heart. The first time, I ended up crying just as hard as the baby. It's truly sad. But, I would rather her have a few shots in the leg than some disease that can kill her or something. And you know what else I hate? The fact that no body reads my diary. The only person that read it on a regular, I think, was rosa jane. And now she's gone. So it doesn't even matter that I leave her a special little message at the bottom of every entry. I mean, she can't exactly read them anymore. She's gone. God, I miss her. I miss her so much. And besides, if anyone out there does read my diary, I wouldn't know, because no body ever comments on it. I mean if you hate it you can tell me. I don't care, atleast I'm getting input, you know? I want to thank rosa jane and jackie. They actually gave some input. So thank you! I guess I just need to buy banners or something. I have made a few kick-ass banners, I'm just to lazy to buy some banner views. Oh the well.

������God, I hope Peanut doesn't take it upon himself to just show up. I won't answer the door. I'm alone, with a baby. I'm not ansering the door. I only wished Sebastian would give me that kind of attention. Not sexaully.. well, ok.. he is fucking hott as hell. But that's not the point. I just like the campanionship.

������Last on my list, rosa jane, I love you. Bye now..Everyone has a cast list. So I'm going to make a cast list. Not to be like everyone else. Just to have a cast list.