I'm incredibly bored right now. Jay's at work .. and my phone has not rang one time. Not once. WTF? My Father didn't even call me. Or try to anyway. I usually ignore it. Hey, I need my sleep, ok? Sorry bout it. However, I was expecting the call this morning. He was supposed to come see me and Renee this afternoon. And he. never. called. See, I haven't seen him since before Valentines Day. He still has my present. He would have brought it to me around the right time, only, I got my tongue pierced. He cannot find this out any time soon. So I faked strep throat as my reason for talking funny. But that was just my extremely swollen tongue. Anyway, I'm bummed out.

That and my best friend sami jean, she stopped talking to me about two and a half weeks ago. She's pissed because I've been messing around with Mel. Which is soley my choice, not hers. I think that really it's because she's jealous. Not in a lesbian kind of way, but I guess I could say the attention factor. She's jealous of the time I spend with her. That and the fact that Mel isn't that feminine, and sami jean says that if you're going to mess around with a chick, that she should act and look like a girly chick. Whatever. That's not even the point here. See how I can ramble? I'm sorry. Really I am.

The point is: She stopped talking to me. She *was* Renee's godmother, but I guess that since she doesn't come around anymore, that she gave that title up? yeah. Ok, so she texts me this afternoon. It says, "Hey i kno were not speakin but is there any way i could come get jessica 4a lil while plz i rly miss her" I sent her one back saying, "Maybe tomorrow. And it's not that 'we're not talking' it's you that stopped talking to me. Remember that. I'm not even mad. I'm hurt. I lost my best friend." So I don't know.

I have a lot of mixed feelings about letting her see Renee. It's not that I want to keep Renee from her. It's the fact that sami jean disrespected me. A couple seperate occasions. One being behind my back with my (ex)roomate. She questioned my parenting skills. And she called me a bitch and a slut. Now, to me that right there is three strikes on her part. That and she never appoligized to me for any of this. Which is not cool. So, I'm sorry, but don't text me trying to pick my daughter up. Ok? It's not cool samantha jean. If you want to call and try to talk through things. Maybe say that your sorry. Then yes, you can watch her for a "lil while". You know I'm not questioning your skills as a godmother. You're really good with Jessica. But you haven't been around. Somethings have changed for Renee. She throws bigger fits now. You really have to kiss her ass. And to be quite frank, you chose to walk away from us. I didn't tell you to.

Other than that. I really don't have much else to say. I passed a kidney stone yesterday evening. Wasn't very fun.

And I'm not sure I even like this entry at all. Too much negativitey. You know. I may have to end this one.

I love you rosa jane... I think I'll call you tonight. I miss ya chick..

xo-rach ♥♥♥